The Rebound Relationship
Can I be real with you and share what God revealed to me this morning? When I got married in 2009, it was honestly a rebound relationship. Prior to getting married, I was in a relationship with someone else for five years who I thought I really wanted to marry. He was moving slow and wasn’t fully invested in making us work, so I got tired and ended things. (Later I learned that I was trying to force something that wasn’t meant to be, so when I got tired of forcing it, I finally let go.) I felt emotionally deprived in that relationship for so long that I was thirsty for a man to make me feel wanted and loved. I also didn’t want to be alone. My soon to be ex-husband and I had always been in communication with one another since meeting in college so when I became single I entertained the idea of he and I being together. We had been friends for years and felt like we knew each other. He too had recently gotten out of a relationship, so we were both available. Things moved swiftly and three months later, we were married. At the time it seemed like such a good idea to get married and I even believed he was sent by God to me. The timing seemed perfect and it just felt right. (Notice I didn’t say that we were madly in love with one another.) But when I look back on it, we both weren’t healed from our previous relationships and allowed our need to be with someone, run the show. As you can imagine, this was a recipe for disaster and four years later it all fell apart.
I share my truth with you to warn you to be careful of rebound relationships. The saying, “the best way to get over an old man is to get under a new one” is not healthy. It’s so important to allow yourself time to heal after a relationship ends. The loss of a relationship requires time to grieve, processing what happened, and learning lessons from it to help you grow. I’ll be the first to admit that being alone with yourself is difficult when you’re used to being in relationships. But it’s so worth it! In the long run you’ll save yourself from a lot of heartache if you give yourself time to heal. Otherwise, you’ll keep going from relationship to relationship with open wounds that keep getting deeper. Then you’ll end up like the woman at the well in John 4 who was in desperate need of Jesus’ healing. I was that woman, but you don’t have to be.
Take time and allow God to heal you now. As it says in John 4:14, Jesus can fill you so deeply that you won’t thirst again. You won’t thirst for a man’s attention or for him to love you. God’s love and presence will supply all that you need. Psalm 107:9 NLT says God “satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” A relationship with God will sustain you to the point of being content with you. Try Him and see.